How folding made me happy. The KonMarie method and my autoimmune disease
I am addicted to tidying. I have always loved order, and I probably sit on the edges of having mild obsessive-compulsive disorder, but a new world has been opened to me, and I have one woman to thank for that. Marie Kondo, author of the best selling author of ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing ‘(2011). I first listened to this book* when it was first released and immediately began to employ some of Marie Kondo methods but it wasn’t until a week ago when I stumbled upon her new Netflix show that I really fell into her world or order.
I really don’t like reality television. Using people as cheap entertainment makes me feel uncomfortable. Having their personal problems paraded across a screen as some self-appointed arrogant expert patronisingly talks to them reminds me of the horrible days of circus animals and poorly funded zoos, and I remain unconvinced you can learn a huge amount from your fellow humans as they are chided and rebuked for their never-ending failings as people.
‘Tidying up with Marie Kondo’ is a breath of fresh air with the contrast of American families, (often with big houses and large amounts of ‘stuff’) juxtaposed with Marie’s petite, almost fairy-like form skipping through rooms with joy makes you wonder if perhaps she is part magical creature or hallucination. No pile of possessions (junk) makes her pale, indeed her excitement seems to build as a door is opened to reveal a room full of Christmas decorations so expansive the owner really could be a wholesale supplier. Or there are the garages you can’t see the other side of leads her to squeals of ‘joy’ as she surveys the home owners property.
In every house, she kneels on the floor, and soft enchanting music plays (production company not literally at the time) as she ‘introduces herself’ to the property and the owners either join her or watch her captivated by her calmness and serenity.
She is so magical that one family even say that they are waiting for ‘her magic’ and so Marie Kondo, sits down and gently explains there is no magic that she brings to this, it’s what they will do that will change their lives.
Wikipedia’s description of the Kondo method is –
“Kondo’s method of organizing is known as the KonMari method, and consists of gathering together all of one’s belongings, one category at a time, and then keeping only those things that “spark joy” (ときめく tokimeku, the word in Japanese, means “flutter, throb, palpitate”), and choosing a place for everything from then on.”
After watching the first few episodes I knew that the KonMari method would be great for both my mental health, my physical health and also my daily life. I have accumulated possession from three past lives and since my liver finally failed in 2016 due to a destructive autoimmune disease I have been living back home with my parents. Trying to fit all this it into one room at my parent’s house is challenging to say the least. I have clothes but never anything to wear and my sock drawer was so scary I had taken to only opening it about 10 cm and then taking my chances with whatever I could grab first without losing my hand to be eaten by socks.
Life with an autoimmune disease is challenging on several levels. Often you look totally fine, to the point even your sister is keen to find you a part-time job. But what people can’t see or ever truly appreciate is the often debilitating fatigue that is caused by your body attacking itself. This is not like normal tiredness. You can sleep for hours and still feel exhausted and in my case, my liver was attacked with such ferocity that cirrhosis was caused and when my liver failed I started to experience the symptoms of hepatic encephalopathy which I am still recovering from today. Hepatic encephalopathy is where the toxins which are normally filtered by the liver manage to reach the brain where they there cause fogginess, confusions, severe mood swings and depression. Just a few fun things to try and live with alongside the fatigue! But it all could be much worse, and although it could take years for me to recover from the transplant I feel so blessed and lucky to be alive.
The side effects or symptoms of my condition make life challenging at times. On the worst days, I can’t get out of bed and need to have flannel baths. On other ones, I may spend the day on the sofa and have to be helped to be dressed. If my life is a mess, everything can become ten times more complicated and just generally difficult. I am not in control of my illness. Sometimes it is in control of me. But I will never let it define me.
What I can control though, are my possessions, and the organisation of my surroundings. The KonMarie method with her isolating of items into groups and then careful and considered process of going through and evaluating whether something gives you joy makes you happy. Removing excess from your life is cathartic. Folding your clothing is calming. Therapy is great on one level, but tidying might be the new home version of it.
So why does taking control of your ‘stuff’ improve your life and make you feel better?
Tidy = (how many?) Less is more
Once you have all of one type of item in the same place you will be able to identify whether you really need 10 pairs of tweezers or 10 black cardigans. Maybe it’s time to retire the one with the worn elbows? Or maybe you could give one to your sister or best friend? Often, because we don’t know where something is, why buy another one, and then another. Find/locate, collect together and streamline your life.
Tidy = ordered = findable
Once you know how many of something you have, now is the time to give it home then you will always know where to find it.
Tidy = time-saving.
One home for each item will reduce searching time and mean you will rarely have to wonder where something might be or spend your life buying tape dispensers.
Tidy = control
In life, there are some things we can’t control. For me and many others, illness and disability is a real challenge. Taking control of our belongings, can both aid daily living by making it simpler and easier to manage but also give back to the individual a feeling that they have some control over their life.
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Tidying = calming
You can not tidy if you are stressed, loud and shouting. Tidying and decluttering needs a head that even if not clear, is calm, thoughtful, capable of considering an item for its qualities and what it lacks. Do you need it in your life? Could it have a better home?
By focussing the mind on what you have and why you have it there is no question that you will start to see what you need and what you don’t. This evaluation will encourage you to remove from your life things which ‘do not bring you joy’.
But what is the joy to someone who is sick? Where do we find joy when depression weighs us down? When we can’t leave the bed? When we feel sick? Where is joy there? Surprisingly focusing the mind on sorting can be a distraction, accomplishing tidying and organising can bring satisfaction and a sense of achievement and accomplishment even if you don’t have the energy to leave your bed or home.
Once I started tidying with the help of my mother I began to see the benefits, and without sounding like a hippy, feel that my life was lighter and with better ‘energy’ in it.
For those of us who are sick, we may not be able to control our health, but by taking control of our possessions we may start to feel some control over an element of our life.
Being able to find things quickly and easily can help us daily on a practical level, but also on a mental level with allowing us to feel that we are achieving something and in control of something in our life.
For anyone with a disability or a health problem being able to find things faster can be a massive aid to survival.
Chronic illness often leaves a patient feeling that they are not in control of their health. But by taking control of your surroundings and your possessions you can actually feel that something is within your grasp. On top of which, the folding method for clothes and fabrics is a calming, repetitive movement which
I would go so far as to say might aid mindfulness.
Feeling inspired by my increased tidiness I posted a picture of my now resplendent sock drawer in the SubReddit called r/konmari.
My post entitled, “A labour of love as I am recovering from a liver transplant needed as an autoimmune disease destroyed my own so I’m constantly fatigued. But tidying and organising does give me joy as it makes it faster for me to find things.”
This was upvoted 446 times (people liked it) and 22 people commented on it. Some of these comments included those with health issues similar to myself and I was blown away by the positivity such a simple thing like tidying could achieve.
A Redditor with spinal cord problems said the KonMarie method gave them a sense of control and accomplishment for completing it. Their health problems have now increased but ‘at least their stuff is sorted’.
Another who is disabled with a few autoimmune diseases says she loves organizing as it is something she can take time over, and sit comfortably to do.
“I feel in control and productive without working myself to collapsing! It’s also a huge energy saver to never have to look for anything.”
A cystic fibrosis patient says that cleaning is a stress reliever for them. Tidying helps to keep their sanity and when they feel sick, tired or anything else they go to tidying as a way to keep something in control as their body doesn’t want to.
I am delighted that I have rediscovered the KonMarie method. I truly believe that it is a lifestyle choice that can improve your life, both literally and on a mental level, and will be recommending it anyone this year who asks why I am suddenly looking so much happier and healthier.
* I struggle to read sometimes as books are too heavy, so they need to be on the Kindle, and even then I get tired very quickly. Sometimes my sight goes funny and my concentration isn’t very good.
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